How to Get Chicks
I have what they call an "unathletic" or "Jewish" physique. Miraculously though, I have a hot girlfriend. And as I have never once said in my life heretofore: "pay it forward" so I will give you all of the advice necessary to pull down some sweet tail.
1) Girls love dogs, that is a scientific fact. Similarly, girls are infatuated with terrible movies, one example is Dr. Dolittle. Here's how to work this knowledge to your advantage:
-Buy a dog
-Put Dog in the passenger seat of your car
-Put peanut butter in dog's mouth to make it look like you're having a conversation
-Talk loudly about issues important to women: Suffrage, purses, dandelions, tampons, and Susan B Anthony
-Sit back and watch the chicks come in
2) Chicks love being called chicks, if you can demean them, it will let them know that you're in command. They may call you a pig, or an asshole, but that's just girl talk for "sexy" and "ribald.' So, continue your efforts even in the face of adversity.
3) Stuff your pants with a gym sock, ferret, and/or Jimmy John's sub. Recent studies have proven that women are just as shallow (if not more) than men. So the larger your package appears, the better your chance of rubbin' her muffin.
4) Read as many online postings about how to get chicks as possible.
It's as simple as that.
1) Girls love dogs, that is a scientific fact. Similarly, girls are infatuated with terrible movies, one example is Dr. Dolittle. Here's how to work this knowledge to your advantage:
-Buy a dog
-Put Dog in the passenger seat of your car
-Put peanut butter in dog's mouth to make it look like you're having a conversation
-Talk loudly about issues important to women: Suffrage, purses, dandelions, tampons, and Susan B Anthony
-Sit back and watch the chicks come in
2) Chicks love being called chicks, if you can demean them, it will let them know that you're in command. They may call you a pig, or an asshole, but that's just girl talk for "sexy" and "ribald.' So, continue your efforts even in the face of adversity.
3) Stuff your pants with a gym sock, ferret, and/or Jimmy John's sub. Recent studies have proven that women are just as shallow (if not more) than men. So the larger your package appears, the better your chance of rubbin' her muffin.
4) Read as many online postings about how to get chicks as possible.
It's as simple as that.
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