A Fat Guy's Musings on Humor

A quote from the famous poet Calvin Broadus has helped me through
some tough times, "with so much drama in the LBC its kind of hard being
snoop D O double G." This quote speaks volumes to the current American
plight. There is a lot to be upset about nowadays in the U.S., I can
safely say this from a smoky internet cafe in Seville Spain. The Darfur
region of Sudan, the number of casualties in Iraq, the AIDS pandemic,
millions of children living in extreme poverty, and stone-washed jeans with a matching jacket.
With all of this going on in the world it is hard to be Snoop D O
double G, or anyone for that matter. So what is the remedy, humor. It
seems that people have lost their sense of humor, or at least the ability
to recognize a sense of humor in others. Comedy has the ability to
change this toilet earth into an insipid puppy running through a field of
poppies, or something equally happy and more masculine.
It is en vogue now to prattle on about the plight that others are
facing and worrying about your own faults, the grade on a final, whether
or not anyone noticed when you passed gas in your Philosophy class, and
if you have gotten fat by eating two desserts everyday. So turn those
all into jokes, and understand that having a sense of humor is in no way
indicative of callousness or shallowness.
Take it from a fat kid in remedial gym, having a sense of humor about
yourself and about others is really the only way to go through life. So
instead of crying in your room and cutting yourself thinking that you
did a dance routine to a Bush CD in sixth grade, turn that around into a
joke. Who doesn't like to picture fat kids flopping around like fish in
matching gym clothes to seemingly archaic nineties chart toppers? I
don't want to meet that person.
There are those that say that a line needs to be drawn somewhere and
that some jokes regarding FDR's handicaps or other taboo subjects are
gauche, and completely inappropriate in social gatherings. I say the
opposite. Take your jokes as far as they can go. Where would this country be without the pioneers like Eli Whitney that pushed the envelope and created the cotton gin, or that fat guy who thought Twinkies weren't unhealthy enough, until he deep fried them. God bless those libertines who pushed the envelope. And you should follow their spirits when it comes to your humor, and the sense of humor of others.
Sure there are those that cluck their beards and say "What is to be
done with this Mark Gordon, and his irreverent humor, that borders on
absurdity? Is there no substance left in the world?" But I say, what good
is substance if there is nothing to laugh about? The short answer is
"nothing." I'm not advocating humor at the expense of others, merely at
the expense of yourself, and the expense of a far too serious world.
Fabricated statistics suggest that in the last 10 years the amount of
laughter has declined 70% and that is something with which I cannot
sleep at night, on my pile of money with many beautiful women.
So push the envelope, make jokes about how you used to wear Jncos in
high school and how you thought a suicide bomber was a drink with Red
Bull. Who knows, you might crack a smile and actually enjoy life for
once. You might also find that the hand that feeds you tastes sweet, and
you should go in for a little nibble. Humor is the life blood of
America, and even if you don't like a person's brand of humor, at least
acknowledge it. Its like they say "they can't all be home runs." So go out
their and laugh, because if you don't some dirty communist might. And
that's just not American.