Poor Choices in Politics
Presidential hopeful/Dianetics enthusiast/weirdo Mitt Romney announced that among his favorite literary fare is a little known work called "Battlefield Earth." Essentially, Romney is tacitly announcing that he no longer has any desire to become president. Or perhaps, this is all part of a masterful plan in which he is going to name Xenu as his running mate. This could actually end up being a boon to the GOP as Xenu is a famously outspoken pro-life candidate. Unfortunately, it might come up that in Xenu's past, he was a dictator in the Galactic Confederacy. To a lesser extent, it is damaging that 75 million years ago, he brought billions of aliens to Earth grouped them around several volcanoes and exploded them with hydrogen bombs. Currently, these exploded souls are clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to wreak chaos and havoc today. This is why Tom cruise does not take medicine. So, suffice it to say Xenu has some skeletons in his closet, and Mitt Romney is an idiot who just pissed away his shot at the presidency. Perhaps he can join the movementarians and slip away into secret bliss, watching terrible John Travolta movies.
