People Bruce Wayne Could Beat Up

Your Dad

Sure he is sitting there, looking kind of tough with his gut hanging out, inevitably wondering why he married your mother. And you might have had those fights with kids on the playground about whose dad could beat the other one's up. But the fact of the matter is, he thought your kindergarten art was terrible, your pitching form leaves much to be desired, and you don't even want to know how much his heart died when you wrote him a sensitive poem for father's day (I mean come on, you Mary). So the real question is, why shouldn't Bruce Wayne punch your dad so hard that his socks fly out of his sandals, and his fanny pack full of maps and zinc oxide comes off? The fight would be shorter than your dad's attention span for your 4th grade play.