Sex and the City

Today Sex and the City opens in theaters around the country. Which means that homosexuals, women, and effeminate males the nation wide will flock to theaters to see "average" women living outlandish lives and pretending they can afford it. It will also require every college girl to leave the movie and pretend that they are Carrie. Cosmos will flow, Chanel bags will be flaunted by product placement, and husbands all over will furtively glance at their watches for 2 and a half hours. Some common questions you might overhear will be: "Who in the hell wears a broach the size of a water buffalo?" "Why didn't they have an episode where Samantha gets the clap?" and "Who in the hell pays Jimmy Choo a grand to look like they are walking in small woodland creatures?" Regardless, I will see it.